The 5 Critical Keys to (Executive) Presence

In a recent group coaching session on Executive Presence, I met an ambitious woman who came to the group in part after, once again, being passed over for a promotion.

During our discussion about the role of personal brand in Executive Presence, she very righteously described her unwillingness to examine what she wore or how she wore it (as an example), feeling as though she was being asked to be someone she didn't want to be.

"I understand, I said. So, who do you want to be at work?" She shifted in her seat as she realized she wasn't quite prepared to answer. "I want to be taken seriously. I've worked hard." "Of course", I deferred. "I'm hearing you describe how you want to feel and what you've done. I'm not sure I've heard who you want to be. How does having worked hard and wanting to be taken seriously help you clarify the steps you need to take to help you get what you really want?"

Her voice softened. "I guess it doesn't. I hate talking about having to change anything about myself because I'm comfortable. But people spend more time talking about my crazy outfits and how I put my colleague in his place than they do about my work." Several others nodded their heads. "It sounds like you are remembered for some very specific things. How does your current approach get you closer to what you want to be remembered for, especially when it comes to being promoted?" The group began joining in for one of the most productive group coaching sessions to date.

Developing presence, whether you are an executive or you want to be one, takes 5 critical keys: intention, awareness, honesty, action and consistency.

If your work is exceptional or unique, or you're not trying to change anything about your current circumstances, it's easier to take risks. But the closer you come to gaining responsibility or seeking a change in roles/responsibility, the more important the components of Presence become.

Presence, executive or otherwise, isn't a happy accident. It's a thoughtful approach to showing up the way you intend, to make the impact you want, to make progress in the areas that are most important to you.

Hoping that hard work alone will create the growth or depth - professional or personal - that you want only helps to ensure that: you stay exactly where you are and/or 2) you get results that underwhelm or disappoint.

The Alice Project offers options for individual and group coaching that can help you identify, tap into and leverage your Presence.

Karen

678-849-5999

www.the-alice-project.com

Connect More, Connect Less. Do Both.

In 2014 I launched a business, and although I said that's what I wanted I was surprised that it actually happened. I could say I did it, but any success I have had is because of my connection to others.  My success is a direct reflection of the investment people made in me - whether clients, business partners and associates, family or friends, it is the blessing of connection that has given me the ability to walk from what was certain to what was possible.

With the dawn of 2015, connection is all the ever more important to me.  So I'm going to do two things - I'm going to connect more, and I'm going to connect less.  But before I invite you to join me, let me tell you what I mean.

New business owners are hungry for connections.  You never know who can help your business grow and help you get the word out about what you're doing.  Never mind that the person who's asked to connect on social media has not given any indication of WHY they want to connect.  Just say yes!  And somewhere within that x% increase in social media traffic is an opportunity... Right?

The truth is that one of my greatest desires for the new year is to have a stronger handle on connecting more with the relationships that are authentic representations of my Focus, my Purpose and my Perspectives.

Connecting More

In connecting more, I want to identify the list of my most important, meaningful relationships and dedicate regular and specific times to give my best to them.  These are the people who are with me when I'm popular and when I'm not.  They show up when the room is otherwise empty.  They stick with me when I'm a pain and they celebrate me when I'm unwittingly courageous.  They are assigned to me (bless their hearts) and I to them.  Connecting with them is how I connect with myself.

I want to identify a short list of causes to support with my time, talents and financial resources.  My increase in being more fully present means those causes will understand more clearly why I am making a difference for them.  I won't just be a line item on their rosters, I will be an inspiration and encouragement for their mission statement.

In connecting more, I am more focused about what's in front of me, and less focused on what is floating around me.  I am more purposeful about what I was placed on the earth to accomplish, and my perspectives reinforce what is and what is not important.

Connecting Less

In connecting less, I relinquish the need to sign up for everything.  "No", "Not now" and "Not a fit" are statements of liberation, commitment and confidence about what I'm connecting more to.

In connecting less, I'm more patient in my replies.  I listen for how the questions and inquiries that enter my life are connected to my Focus, Purpose and Perspective.  Connecting less actually helps me do more - more of what matters, to me and those I serve.

In connecting less, I'm relinquishing my tendency to let fear dictate who and what I connect with, what I say no to and how I show up in my professional and personal worlds.

In connecting less, I embrace the reality that not everyone is meant to be connected to everyone.  And although it is counterintuitive to what our "smart" lives would tell us, the reality is that I am ok whether or not I have an increase in traffic or not.  My success lies in something much more basic.

Technology is a tool, no longer a trap.  Connection is a blessing, not a burden.  Relationship is energy - both given and received.

Join Me

In connecting more and connecting less, I am a better wife, a better mother, a better daughter, a better friend, a better contributor, a better citizen.

Let's start a movement.  Connect with me (and others) more, and connect less.  We'll both be better for it.
Love, K-

Karen R. Hilton
The Alice Project, LLC
www.the-alice-project.com
678-849-5999

2015 All Rights Reserved.  The Alice Project, LLC

New Year, Fresh Page - Three Steps to a Productive Year

I love the beginning of the new year as much as I have always loved getting a brand new notebook.  It's a fresh start, anything is possible and there is always something new to learn.

As I contemplate what I've learned from the prior year, I love searching for resources that enlighten, teach, challenge and inspire me to be a better wife, mother and coach for the coming year.  This year the professional topics I'm building my library around include executive presence, confidence and leadership.

There is an inexhaustible amount of content available on each of these topics, written by some incredibly smart, experienced and educated people - male and female.  But with each book I start reading, I feel compelled to add to these very important conversations:  If you lack Focus, are disconnected from your Purpose and have no Perspective on what's most important to you, the application of any technique or trick will eventually fail you.

If you want to end they year (any year) with a hunger about the year to come:

- Get laser focused about what you (really) want.  Most of us ask ourselves comfortable and convenient questions.  We skirt around issues, most of the time because we are simply too close to them to recognize what's really getting in our way.  We have a lot on our plate and convince ourselves that nothing is optional, when in fact we have more options than we realize.  What makes us uncomfortable is one of two things:

        - Avoiding making someone else uncomfortable with what may have to change if we  change

        - Avoiding making ourselves uncomfortable with what may have to change if we change

 

- Identify your purpose.  We all have one.  I call it getting to know the real you.  It's the why of what you do; more specifically it's the why of what you want to do.  Statistics abound on the number of people just going through the motions of life, only to realize many years into it that they never wanted to do or be this or that.  Identifying your purpose isn't about abandoning practical realities.  It has to do with identifying and making space for the things that energize, rejuvenate and invigorate your gifts, talents and abilities.  A car functions as one unit but it is still made up of individual parts that each have specific requirements for care and functioning.  Neglect a part's needs and it eventually breaks or fails beyond repair.  What part of who you are (or who you want to be) - professionally or personally - are you neglecting?  At what cost?  It doesn't have to be that way.  Connecting with your purpose is a lifeline to creating the professional and/or personal life you want.

- Discover perspective.  A week ago I met with a client who reaffirmed that the reason she was afraid to move forward was because her mother raised her to be that way.  My client is 36.  I challenged her to make up a tale of her life if she were actually in control of what her life looked like.  At the end of this fairy tale  I was so curious and I asked her what was getting in the way of her making the choices she just described in her story, considering her mother was 1000 miles away, she was working and paying her own bills and running a home with children and a husband.  It had not occurred to her that she could make different choices.  The perspective of her childhood held her captive to a life that not only didn't serve her well, it hurt her.  Our work together now is focused on reframing her perspectives - monthly coaching; books and other resources; a new, more positive network of friends and family; setting healthy boundaries and a commitment to healthy outlets (in her case, music and exercise).
 
The new year is a powerful time to start with a fresh page. You have a right to feel terrified and excited, but don't let either stop you from moving forward.

It's a new year - anything is possible.  Whatever it brings, whether or not it's "happy" is entirely up to you.
Love, K-

Karen R. Hilton
The Alice Project, LLC
www.the-alice-project.com
678-849-5999

All Rights Protected.  Copyright 2015  The Alice Project, LLC