“So, who do you work for?” It’s the question that strikes ice cold fear in the heart of even the most seasoned and skilled professional in transition. After resigning from my job as Vice President of Human Resources for a technology company to become a full-time caregiver for my mother, I found myself tripping over my own introduction, realizing I was unprepared to describe “who” I was in the midst of unwanted change.
Normally poised, articulate and quick on my feet, it had not
occurred to me that my new life role would not translate well into the
professional circles that I tried to keep pace with. During the occasional opportunities when I
had relief from round-the-clock caregiving, I thought staying engaged with my
network and professional associations would be energizing. Instead, new to the role of caregiving and no
longer able to carry my old business cards, I left almost every event feeling
lost, disoriented and troubled. Add to
that the grief I was in denial about and the only way to describe me at that
point was “all dressed up and a complete hot mess”.
What was wrong with me?
Colleagues kept conversations short and obligatory at best, rarely
staying long enough to hear my answer to the question “how are you doing?” In fairness to them, it had to be doubly
awkward to know how to engage someone dealing with two types of significant
loss – my mother and my job. On the
other hand, it became clear that business events serve specific functions –
personal healing/coping isn’t one of them.
It eventually occurred to me that
I kept going to these events as a way to preserve the security and identity I
had before I became a caregiver. I
eventually tired of the surface conversations and awkward moments and withdrew
realizing that my new life role and self-selected employment status was
something I first had to come to terms with, before anyone else ever could.
A lot has changed since my mother passed away, the most
significant of which is me. I have done
some transformative work evaluating my life, my identity, my gifts and my
talents. I released my mother and what
she represented in my life to God, gave voice to some of the common threads she
and I shared with millions of other women, brought my own health and wellness
to the forefront and started a coaching
and consulting practice designed to help redefine what a productive woman looks
like!
Reframe Your
Productive Identity to Stay Engaged and Confident
·
Get Focused.
Call it like it is. If you’re
burnt out, frustrated, angry, feeling lost or disconnected – say so. Sort fact from fiction and identify
priorities. Getting Focused sets the
groundwork for connecting with your values, accepting what you can influence, releasing
what you can’t and identifying what you want AND what you need. As simple as this sounds, this starting place
in the process is critical to truly transforming how you think of and present (or
reinvent) yourself. If all your
obstacles were removed (money, an unsupportive family/friend, time, etc.) what
would life look like in your most productive state? Write down the words, images and phrases that
immediately come to mind. Include
actions, feelings and emotions. What do
you want to be known for? What do you
wish people knew about you? Answering these questions is foundational in
reframing your productivity in a way that energizes you and encourages you to
move closer to an authentic identity that isn’t swayed by the ups and downs of
life.
·
After you identify what you really want and
need, identifying Purpose connects your gifts, talents and abilities to your
hopes, dreams and desires. Everyone
has a purpose – the differentiator is how a woman uses her Purpose to inform,
inspire and influence her choices.
Knowing your Purpose creates a framework with which to define interests,
remove distractions and set goals that align with who you are created to
be. Confidence arises out of Purpose, so
it is here that you will begin to discover internal fortitude to make
courageous decisions. When you connect
with your Purpose it creates a lens by which you can identify those things that
honor what’s important to you and those things that don’t.
·
Perspective is the points of view that honor
your values, inform your decisions and inspire you for the journey ahead. Perspective isn’t always easy and it doesn’t
always agree with where you are, but it does respect where you
are and it is never self-serving.
Perspective comes from learning (books, seminars, classes, podcasts,
etc.), development (hands-on experiences, assignments, opportunities) and
growth (assessments, 360 surveys, overcoming challenges, etc.)
If you are on the cusp change, in the midst of change or
just need to change, I want to encourage you.
Whether you are in crisis or are just curious, defining or redefining
yourself is not only possible, it’s just waiting for you!
Are you struggling with moving forward because you can’t
identify what’s holding you back? Are
you searching for a way to describe the “who” of who you are – to the world and
to yourself? Are you ready for something
greater but need to develop skills to negotiate or even just ask? GREAT!
The Alice Project can help.
We believe that every woman – regardless of current or
future role - has options, resources and the ability to impact her own
progress. Focus, Purpose and Perspective
are the foundations for living the kind of life where “I wish I had…” is never
on the menu.
Take a deep breath, and contact us today to learn more!
678-849-5999
